Epistolary Query...

Image courtesy of: Marsh, Moriarty, Ontel & Golder, P.C.

In the spirit of this new year, I wish to share with you this personal missive, which over the years has allowed me to correspond with strangers; garnering friendships and honors as well as financial recompense. This letter, I use as first correspondence to inquire about potential editorial, corporate or advertising contigencies with future and existing clients. Feel free to use it as I have presently exhausted its value, uses and benefits (I have also noticed that it it is most effective when committed to parchment).

"Dearest (recipient),

I am very much obliged to(sponsor's name)for writing to me on Thursday January the 17th, and very glad that I owe the pleasure of hearing from him again so soon, and to such an agreeable cause, and that it so graciously concerns me. But, you will not be surprised, nor perhaps so joyful as I should be, to find that he/she recommended me to your agency. I am very well happy to hear of his health and safety and wish him and you sir/madame, nothing but a good prize as to have so kindly thought of me.

But deem me not so devoid of proper pride as to wish you to evoke his/her determination, from which I will not attempt to dissuade you, whether he/she may have made it in coll deliberation, or in precipitous haste.

Hence, kind Sir/Madame, I shall endeavor to inquire as to your affections, and as readily and completely as you may consider me. All that I shall now require from you is this; that you would respond electronically, should you find this missive and my photographic entreaties to be suitable, and to your demiurgic liking.

I hope to not have written under a foolish confidence in your attachment, and if so please accept my sincerest pleas for forgiveness and/or apology....."

Sincerely,

Your Name.

Il Papa Fieri....

A note left by my 9 year old Gabriel, written in English but in beautiful handwritten French cursive: "Papa, I should like for you to download these movies to my iPod ":

1- Team America, 2- In iTunes, in the section "Purchased" there will be a movie called: "South Park Bigger, longer and uncut..." 3- In iTunes, in the section "Purchased" there will be a movie called: "Winter X Games XI"

Glad to be of service, my son, and while I am at it, shall get you a quill, a feather, as of a goose, formed into a pen for writing.... for your tenth birthday.

Ista quidem est!

"............... those affected foragers, manipulating other, less disingenuous characters, elephantine rogues and agitators who rise to pomp and circumstance by playing to that imminent and gullible mind, of a market of believers.

Perpetrators, thinly disguised speculators, obstructionist and talented frocks, biding the acrimonious bile of some authority or power: The backslapper, apple polisher, flatterer and glad hander; within whose easy compliance lies the carbonized core of a hateful, bullying and fearful deceiver; a coddling messenger who seeks compliant listeners, like so many fools before them in respectful demeanor.... you shall forgive me, should you derive any pleasure from thy efforts, but ..... ambition often puts men upon doing the meanest offices; so climbing is performed in the same posture as crawling." Jonathan Swift.

The Naked APE.

DL: Photographers out number editors a million to one but given the fact that you may well be the one and only photo editor who did it, what does that "intuit" about your esteemed colleagues? RB(AKAPE): I think there's a huge misconception about the number of "professional" photographers in this industry. I'd say 20 maybe 23 tops. Everyone else is just vying for one of those slots by shooting jobs for free as marketing material. So, as you can see there's absolutely no reason for photo editors to do anything with the internets.

DL: Something tells me that you are trying to sell us something, are we all unsuspecting pawns in an elaborate marketing scheme of your own making?

RB(AKAPE): There is absolutely no obligation to buy but I think once you hear the stories of people making 1000, 2000 and even 10,000 dollars a week you will want to buy my 10 disc set turning your vacation photos into cash. Money back guarantee except in the 50 states not available outside the US.

DL: OH. MY . GOD...! Is that expression learned, or innate?

RB(AKAPE): I normally say "holy fucking shit can you fucking believe how fucking great that fucking photo is a just want to shit myself and donkey punch my mother." Oh. My. God seemed more user friendly.

DL: There was a lot of brown nosing the APE over the past four months. What does that say about photographers or the biz?

RB(AKAPE): If NY Times Magazine Director of Photography, Kathy Ryan were to suddenly come to a screeching halt the entire photo industry would find itself lodged up her ass.

DL: Winston Churchill once said, "You make a living by what you get; you make a life by what you give", care to elaborate?

RB(AKAPE): No. That makes my brain hurt.

DL: You once had a dream, what was it?

RB(AKAPE): A reoccurring dream where the CFO and I enter a caged octagon.

DL: Why do you think you were so successful, so quickly?

RB(AKAPE): See above, they all thought I was Kathy Ryan.

DL: Anyone else that you know following your careless lead?

RB(AKAPE): I've poisoned everyone who tried. Anyone seen George Pitts lately?

DL: Photography is now a commodity like wheat, pork bellies or soy beans, care to disagree?

RB(AKAPE): Is this where you tell me I have to pay a digital processing fee and a digital transfer fee and a fee to ftp and a fee to burn a disk and a digital package fee and a digi-tech fee and a removable storage fee and a post processing fee?

DL: You share your life with a special someone, an ego, a wife, a pet monkey. What did they think of all this? Did you ever have to defend your compulsion and if so how could you and how did you justify it?

RB(AKAPE): Look Olivier I'm tired of calling your wife and telling her that blogging is anything other than online masturbation.

DL: Some may say that your taste in photography are rather safe, care to elaborate?

RB(AKAPE): Are you referring to my habit of saying in meetings "I'd like see what Annie Lebovitz would do with that" even though I've asked her agent 144,000 times to shoot something for me and the answer has always been no?

DL: Have you found your voice and is this it?

RB(AKAPE): No, I'm thinking more Backstreet Boys with choreographed dance but I just can't seem to get Contientious, Jackaonary and A Visual Society to show up for practice.

DL: How do you like your feminine side shaped?

RB(AKAPE): Conical.

DL: Off the record and just between you and me, what made you do it?......guilt, shame...? and if so, are you easily intimidated?

RB(AKAPE): Interesting, I've never thought of it that way but now that I'm lying on this comfortable couch and you're talking to me in that soothing voice I'd have to say there's a fair amount of guilt involved in figuring out how many ways you can screw photographers out of a couple bucks on a daily, wait no, hourly basis as a chosen profession. This is my atonement.

DL: ....ever been gang banged by the Keebler elves...?

RB(AKAPE): Oh. My. God… is that where all these cookies came from… Olivier… Olivier… why can't I move my arms… I can barely see you… it's like I'm looking through a lens baby attached to a kaleidoscope.

DL: Anything to loose and if so, when will you loose it?

RB(AKAPE): Close to loosing my lunch every time I hit publish.

DL: Successful blogs tend to slowly become overwhelmed by their own successes. The audience becomes more and more self absorbed and see the "Top Blog" as a tool to generate traffic to their own site or start posting to turn the conversation unto themselves, as opposed to furthering the discussion. How will you negotiate success, has this already happened?

RB(AKAPE): Ultimately my goal is to turn the photo blogging community into a giant donut where all links and conversations lead back to the original post. The conversation will repeat itself in perpetuity throughout the universe in every medium known and unknown without additional payment.

DL: Please, be brutally honest!

RB(AKAPE): When I pee in the snow I write my name.

DL: (This Space left unintentionally blank).

DL: Unlike a painter, a photographer starts with something finished and works backwards....what about a "A Photo Editor"?

RB(AKAPE): Did you know aphotoeditor spelt backwards is rotideotohpa?

DL: I have to ask you this, how many Horse ladies in your apocalypse?

RB(AKAPE): She's pullin' six white horses.

DL: Favorite three layered cake?

RB(AKAPE): Ho hos.

DL: An old chinese proverb states: " It does not matter if it's black or white, as long as it catches light", care to dignify this pronouncement with a reply?

RB(AKAPE): It matters if I shine a flashlight up your ass.

DL: Many of your fans had assumed, wrongly, that you were a lady, any thoughts, rebukes or responses?

RB(AKAPE): Not the first time someone told me "you write and photo edit like a woman."

DL: "If you are not outraged, you are not paying attention", what exactly does that mean?

RB(AKAPE): In the FAQ section of my blog it states that by loading aphotoeditor.com in your web browser you are hereby signing a work for hire contract that governs all previous and future work as a photographer throughout the universe in all mediums known and unknown in perpetuity.

DL: The US department of Labor states that the Employment of photographers is expected to grow about as fast as the average for all occupations through 2016. Photographers can expect keen competition for job openings because the work is attractive to many people. Could this be?

RB(AKAPE): Sure, who doesn't want to hang out with Mickey and Goofy and snap pictures of screaming kids all day long.

DL: There are currently 122,000 professional photographers in the US alone, with a median hourly income of $12 dollars and 58 cents. Please explain ?

RB(AKAPE): And with expenses of $12 an hour that leaves a pure profit of 58 cents an hour.

DL: Which of the following would cause the unemployment rate to increase?

I. A man who quits his job to spend more time with his children II. A woman who has not looked for a job in two years and begins looking again III. A woman who quits her job and begins looking for a new job in another city.

RB(AKAPE): IV. Blogging for a living.

DL: And to conclude this interview please explain:

1- Definition of social stratification 2- Social class in terms of wealth, income, education, occupation, and lifestyle 3- Concepts of power, prestige and status, both ascribed and achieved 4- Social inequality involving race, gender, class, age, prejudice, and discrimination 5- Functional and conflict theories of stratification 6- Horizontal, vertical, inter-generational social mobility 7- Poverty/life chances

RB(AKAPE): Ask someone who cares.

?-ish

To close out the year, the "Musee des lettres et Manuscrits"(the museum of letters and manuscripts) is having a exhibition called "parlez-moi d'amour"(speak to me about love), a show about love letters.

An appropriate way to close out and begin the new year. Sorry, it's all in French but here's a link to a BBC story about it (got to love the french pornographer's "non de porn", John B Root, a play on the word "biroute", which loosely translated means "dick"; a biroute is also a wind sock, like those you may have spied at airports). What a perfect name for that ever temporal, directional, inflatable and eminently engorge-able!

Since we frogs have a museum for just about everything, here is what my contribution to french culture will be, when and if I make my millions and move back to France to donate a sizable portion of my nouvelle fortune to this newly formed cultural institution: "The Gift Shop Museum", the museum for and about museum gift shops.

Happy New Yeah........ wherever and whenever your wind blows!

After the d-luge

I'm thinking Olympic event.

and of course, straight from the set of "Idiocraty", kabuki nuts.

Iapetus

It stands to reason to finish out the year with images of Iapetus. Discovered by Giovanni Cassini in 1671 it is Saturn's third largest moon.These images were taken by the Cassini-Huygens space craft and to my mind represents all that is great about humankind. Discovery, creativity, wonder, love, intelligence, curiosity, generosity.....Let's just hope that the odds in 2008 will be stacked in those favors. But at least, when the going gets rough, I'll always have JPL to go to and marvel at what we can do, as oppose to what we did.

PS: Nevertheless, let's be thankful that Iapetus is a little too far away as I foresee a day when this moon will probably be turned in to the solar system's largest Alpine getaway.

The Akurians....

Unlike most people, I actually like to read my spam from time to time, at least the stuff that makes it past the filters. Call it a kind of divine random selection, like prehensile tails or nipples on men.Like the rest of you I get my fair share of spam, but sometimes, something so fabulous comes throught, that it would be a shame not to disseminate it to the rest of you who do not bother digging through the internet's feces, like I do.

0118 ""In the Very Beginning, before I created myself out of myself, and before I created anything, I pondered (thought through) everything: knowing the beginning of everything, knowing the where of everything, and knowing the ending of everything; that there should be neither mistake nor falsity in anything that I should do; nor any filth or pollution anywhere in My Perfection. Yea! I considered all things, without exception, before I created anything. 0119 ""And the first of My Creations was to create myself out of myself. 0120 ""In the Very Beginning of All Other Living Things after I created myself out of myself, I created Elisha (EL-ISH-AH, First of Me), a help meet (sufficient) unto me. 0121 ""In the Very Beginning, after I created myself out of myself and after I created Elisha, I created time, that there should be an accounting: a then that was, and a now that is, and a then that shall be; and when I created time, I determined the Very Beginning and the Very Ending, when all I have created shall come before me and present full account. 0122 ""In the Very Beginning of Time, I created many Heavens, and many Realms, and many Planes, and many Places; and I established the order of them, and the nature of them, both Righteous and Evil: that there be Excellence of Knowledge and Wisdom wheresoever creation should be. Then unto all the Heavens and all the Realms and all the Planes and all the Places I created the first of all Living Souls: with free will to become as I am, for I am a God of Life and I want many to be as I am, that I may become greater to provide more life and more abundance for all I have created. 0123 ""In the very beginning of all living souls, I brought forth many great numbers of them instantly and at the same time, that they all be equal and none above the other and none superior to the other in any manner: for I had already established that life would be, and life would be the essence of purity, and purity would be the essence of the soul, and the soul would be the essence of the spirit, and the spirit would be the essence of free will, and free will would be the essence of discipline, and discipline would be the essence of cognizance, and cognizance would be the essence of recognition, and recognition would be the essence of consciousness, and consciousness would be the essence of mind, and mind would be the essence of intelligence, and intelligence would be the essence of all comprehension.

Read on at the Akurian website and don't forget to browse the gallery and the links.

Chandelier for street lights.

Back from four days in LA. Southwest to Burbank, lunch with Maren and Shushi for Christmas with Adrienne. Best part of Christmas is not thinking that virgin's birth. Murakami, Thai massages, farmers market and Third street, Griffith's observatory, Venice to see skanks, tar pits to Japantown, looked up Adrienne's skirts, fro yo and Pinkberry's; all in all a tasty treat.

PS: "Gulbuddin Hekmatyar" How I wish I could stone your ass to death. Where are you, you sack of shit?

The Universe is Unconcerned....

The glory of Rome.

Me and the old lady are off to LA tomorrow, in the "Ante Meridiem". Time for a little R and R and some of that good ole mock procreation. We'll be back next week to continue this miraculous time suck. So, in the meantime, have yourself a nice little bit of consumption, don't forget to let your children have a little bit of that champagne but don't go off a drinking that sparkling shit or the Moet will go off and stick it up your Chandon. See y'all bitches in Rome....

Les grandes et inestimables croniques : du grant et enorme geant......

It seems that everyone is compiling lists fit to educate the coming year. Classically trained, and not one to be culturally outdone, I have also compiled a short list of French Classics, save one: "The Golden Ass". I plan on re-reading them all in 2008. They are all available in French and in English and are truly great books. Do your own googling, I ain't linking.... you might stumble upon something great, instead of following my leads. These are all books I read as a kid and remember vividly. Twelve in all, one per month.

1- Candide, Voltaire. 2- L'Ingénu, Voltaire. 3- La Chevelure, Guy de Maupassant. 4- Le Horla, Guy de Maupassant. 5- Gargantua, François Rabelais. 6- Pantagruel, François Rabelais. 7- The Golden Ass, Lucius Apuleius. 8- Michel Strogoff, Jules Verne 9- Les Mystères de Paris, Eugene Sue. 10- La Gloire de mon père, Marcel Pagnol. 11- Le Château de ma mère, Marcel Pagnol 12- Vol de nuit, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.

PS: So much for those top tens, top twelve is where it's out.

Marsasart....or, Buford Herring's Q5.

Bikini Wax, Brazilians and Root canals...

Yesterday, while searching You-tube for root canals, I aimlessly, inadvertently and serendipitously wandered; what else could I do. Like a long strand of DNA, YouTube seams to work that way, randomly leading you astray; from bikini wax to Brazilians to root canals. Root canals are not that interesting but I just happen to be very naturally curious and simply wished to compare the actual process as opposed to how I actually lived it, yesterday. One of my molars needed a drilling, and since nature has a way of repaying you for ignoring to furtively look its way, it just happened to be one of those days when fate's suggestive forces dictated I spend a morning getting drilled and up rooted. Contrary to public expectations, root canals are fairly painless. The dental arts have made great progress and can now provide us with the painless convenience of laughing uproariously without looking like the village idiot *.

Anyway, and like everything else, the bikini wax, the brazilian, the boyzilian or Carpecian, what you are about to see, got me to thinking about the state of "Photography Today".

I know this does not seem neatly related but please bare with me, at least for the next minute of your own peregrinated wanderings on our beloved communication superhighway, hear me out before you move on to this delectably Anglo interneted. I got to thinking that, paradoxically, that photography has become so absurdly specific as to increasingly value projects, based solely on how specific and narrow they actually be.

More and more, photographers, and its consuming masses are rewarding those among us who display the ability to document microscopic slices of our universes. In order to garner attention from the fickle masses, we are slowly reducing everything into anecdotally and easily consumed bite size pieces. The human race has become more and more specialized in its pursuits of creativity and is slowly ingesting, but in prodigiously Gargantuan quantities, smaller and smaller pieces. From the cave, to the niche, to the nook, to the crevice, we are more and more rapidly consuming smaller and smaller ideas, and retreating deeper and deeper.... into Plato's cave.

*BTW, if you do not appreciate long winded run on sentences, this probably isn't your place

Frédéric....

I have been looking for Tahoe vacation rentals for my older brother Frédéric, and consequently, he is foremost in my mind. He lives in Paris, France and has become one of the world's best orthopedic surgeons. That alone should make me extremely proud of him and make it a simple and easy matter to post a mention of his accomplishments here; but what compels me to do so is far more universal. Even though, my brother and I are very different, we share some very fundamental characteristics, a unique fruit cocktail of my mother and father's traits, which and with time, has made us both who we are, but first and foremost, we are brothers. I was reminded of this, in a nice way, by reading Stefan Rohner's latest blog entry.

My big brother has taught me much but I have always known that he has always loved me more then any other play mate. When we were just little kids he would cry inconsolably for me, if I got hurt and was in pain, and this I knew showed, that despite our relative differences, he loved his little brother, "L' olivier".

Brotherhood is an extraordinary bond, and if you are going to have kids, at the very least, give them someone to play with. Today, I was certainly happy and grateful to be once again reminded.

Frédéric, if you ever need it, you can have either one of my kidneys......and whatever else you ever need from me.

From Left to right, excluding newly married couple: My mother in her early thirties, my brother Frédéric, unknown relative, and yours truly, approximately 4 years of age (my son Raphael and I at this age looked so much like each other, as it to be genetically freaky).

"Bah, fucking, humbug..!"

What have we done to deserve this? First they put a fucking idiot in office, procreate like bush rabbits... and now this..... Enough already! and the fucking thing lights up too, aaargh! Yo, Kincade, where is that IED when you really it, I mean, really.... Thomas, next year, I promise, I am signing you up for:..... "The Running of the Car Bombs"...., and please, paint thy bird finger, and shove it up where it don't light up; I beg you, please....!

Stick and Steak.....

What if, and if only, the intromittent sexual organ wasn't just, a spongiform, but a muscle, prone to serve the same functions, as to produce both frequent and infrequent, voluntary and involuntary, autonomic obfuscations? And furthermore, I am to presume that he is just simply trying to pop off the Stick and Stay, and indicate that he is indeed ready for a carvin'.....

Photo: Per Bernal

One bird, two fingers.., Julian Richards interviewed.

Image: Perkin Lovely.

Julian Richards is a "top tier" artist representative in New York City. After a mutual acquaintance introduced us, I thought it instructive to follow in MDM's footsteps, and start running "Dear Leader" interviews. I was not disappointed by his responses but rather felt that I, should have worked a little harder on the questions. But if you feel that the interviewer's job is to make the interviewee shine through, then I must have done a good job of it; or was it an inevitability, given the personality.

To put it mildly, few things are more entertaining than intelligence, eloquence, self confidence and comedy, all wrapped up in one lusciously human representative.

Begin here:

DL: Describe your kitchen sink?

JR: A single piece of concrete carved by our friend Trevor Heatherington into a dynamic reenactment of the Tiresius myth. He's prodding the fornicating snakes with a stick, mid-way through his metamorphosis. It's like a Bernini, but lumpier. The hot and cold faucets are particularly arresting - realistic arrangements of his male and female genitals, respectively. It's kind of a rite of passage at our home for visitors to be photographed drinking directly from the orifices (ordinarily men from the cold, women from the hot) whilst grinning libidinously at the camera. We have a gallery of polaroids on the wall by the fridge. Hilarious, eh?

DL: If you could choose to come back as a prairie, which one would it be, and would you let anybody till ye?

JR: I'm not really clear what a prairie is. If I were to come back as a fairy it might be WH Auden.

DL: What living person do you most admire, be specific ?

JR: It changes. There's this actress Natacha Regnier who is the right shape. She occasionally gets my aching admiration.

DL: Do you love all your children equally?

JR: Over an extended period, probably. But there are huge fluctuations over the short term. They offer very different challenges.

DL: Is there something photography is lacking, if anything?

JR: I can't help thinking that it lacks so much, simply because of its inherent limitations. In that sense you can't blame it. But you can feel a bit embarrassed observing it's importance being inflated to laughable proportions. Photography is the homeland that flocks of itinerant charlatans have spent generations seeking. It it so replete with the ordinary pretending to be extraordinary ... and I'm as guilty as anyone of lionizing mediocrity - my home-loan company requires it of me. I suppose there's an academic argument for it being the art form of our age ... shabby times, given to a relentless stream of product rendered quickly for an audience of glazed eyes and dull, lazy minds. As such I suppose it becomes relevant as a kind of cultural emblem. This relevance, however, doesn’t go far in offsetting the paucity of the experience of dealing with what is frequently required of us on a day-to-day basis. But like anything, if you suspend disbelief and confer special status upon material which is deeply banal, you can quickly build yourself a new hierarchy of value whereby bad is good and okay is wonderful ... and ten minutes later you can confidently pontificate upon such things as 'greatness' and 'beauty'. People will apparently know what you're talking about and nod accordingly. Maybe you can even sell some stuff.

DL: If you were to be given just one print to give to former Senator Joseph McCarthy, what would it be and how would you deliver it?

JR: I don't think I'd bother, really. Maybe if it was simply a matter of emailing him something off one of those Amatrice Francaise sites. It's nice to have a reason to poke about in there for a half hour.

DL: What do you dislike most about bakeries?

JR: Most of the women in them aren't naked.

DL: If you could change soft core pornography, how and who would it be?

JR: I guess make it less content to be soft. I like the tension between soft straining against the impulse to be hard. Who? Some of my friends' girlfriends, probably. I'm interested in tinkering with the unfamiliar/familiar equilibrium.

DL: Are you in it for the money?

JR: Yes, naturally. There are other ingredients, but the absence of any one of them alone wouldn't be reason alone to stop. Without money though, it would be over in a heartbeat.

DL: Any further penchants you'd like to reveal, unofficially?

JR: They are so prosaic I think it would be hard to stifle a yawn. I like to think I have my own unique niches in the canon of the commonplace, but perhaps I don't ... and anyway it'd take too much time and penmanship to state them prettily. They tend to wiggle about.

DL: Is there anything else you need, besides money?

JR: I need objects for the unholy bits of my imagination to alight upon.

DL: Favorite childhood cheeses?

JR: I remember discovering that camembert sometimes smells like semen. Still tastes good though. I've since noticed that day-old pancake mix has a similar quality.

DL: Which talent would you most like to have and how much would you pay to get it, Euros please?

JR: I can't afford to shop in euros, I earn my crusts in dollars which are currently equivalent to the Namibian Lucky Bean. I have always aspired to possessing talents which might alchemise me into a state of irresistibility. Hypnotism, manufacture of persuasive pharmaceuticals, knot-tying, those kinds of things.

DL: If you were one of those emoticons, which one would you be, and how big?

JR: The sunny vagina, 1:12

DL: What is your most treasured possession and would you give it to me, if I asked nicely?

JR: If I lived in a land where spouses were still considered goods and chattel I might entertain a loan or a swap under very special circumstances. What you got?

DL: What is "clam happy"?

JR: See response to emoticon question above.

DL: What are the upper body qualities you most like in a woman, or a man, if that doesn't do it for ye?

JR: Modest dimensions, please.

DL: What is the greatest love of your life and will it love you back, eventually?

JR: Overall I'm happy being the less loved in the greatest love equation. The inequality keeps the horizon line in view and the mystery of the other side intact. Who knows (or wants to know) what the landscape looks like once you crest the hill? Some fetid bog pocked with slag-heaps and sulfurous chimneys? Or just a flat expanse of featureless nothingness, like fucking Holland? Even if it's better than that, it's hardly likely to outdo the euphoric pornography of my imagination. So better to keep panting and chasing.

DL: How many horse-ladies in your Apocalypse?

JR: A brace of small-breasted ones.

DL: Who are your heroes, and do they even know you exist?

JR: I'm not sure I have any. Which isn't as cynical as it sounds, it's simply a matter of age and cheerful skepticism. Given time, most heroes seem to acquire feet of clay. Possibly I have a few dead ones, but I'd be irritated to see them stated as such, especially by me. Obsessions, however, would be a different story, although they might not be whole human beings. Just bits.

DL: Is this mildly annoying?

JR: Not at all, it's mildly flattering to be asked.

DL: Chicken or fish?

JR: I'm afraid I need a url to answer this.

DL: How's thing?

Hardy Bush.

Once again I find myself on Market and 16th, browsing Books Inc. As frequent readers of this electronic entity know, I am a male hetero living "In the Ghaytto", in San Francisco. My sources tell me that the Castro is being gentrified my breeders, as older gay men leave, sadly, to relocate to less expensive pastures, Guerneville namely, at least that's the word on the street. Anyway, that's besides the point as I am here to discuss erotigay, as I stumble upon it, or rather, as it stumbles upon me. As previously mentioned I am quite fond of most gay specific imagery and seek it out every weekend, after coffee (on n'est pas des cochons, on se leve vers huit heures et demi le samedi). As an aside and just in case you are reading me from a non Judeo-Christian country, we in the West have a holiday which yearly celebrates the virgin birth of a man also know as Jesus Christ, AKA ,JESUS, Jesus fucking Christ, Geeeez...uss Christ almighty!!!; anyway you get the idea. Christmas is a time of joy and gift giving in our country and come December 25th, we shower those we love with, quite literally, millions of tons of joy and gifts. I feel compelled to mention this as Books inc is peddling its annual Christmas selection of published gayrotica. This makes for wonderful perusing. I love it.

Upon entering I immediately came upon the new Harry Bush book "Hard Boys". Whoaaaa! I very much like it. I won't review it here since I do not do that kind of thing but you can find one here. Harry Bush's work reminds me of what a talented pupil might have been sketching to stave off ennui, in Mrs. Perkins high school chemistry. Don't let the cover fool you, crack it open and check out the packaged goods within. It's definitely worth a look see.

Marsasart....or, Buford Herring's Q3.

I am currently developing a line of photography based video games with Atari. This up coming video gaming library will be available for purchase on this site in Q3. The franchise’s titles we are currently developing and market testing are being quickly expanded to satisfy the needs of the gaming and discerning visual creator’s library.

Titles available in Q3 :

“Terry’s Pro Shooter 4”: Join Terry Richardson and shoot socialites and celebrities in New York’s heavily defended upper East Side social gatherings . Join Terry and shoot your wad on your gallerist’s tits and fornicate with up to 16 online players, featuring never before seen multi-player hotel-animatronics. New “T4™” joy sticks, deliver unmatched social climbing and positioning while you surf Lexington and 85th, survive a debutante’s dream body and join the “Crank Gang” to roam deserted streets.

“I’m Diane Arbus, bitch!”: Join Diane Arbus and Joel Meyerowitz as they challenge you to make your mark in the fast moving world of street photography, capture the elusive with startling flash photography, evade polices and street sweeps. Dive in an unprecedented 353 levels of “Street’s” and “Hobo-photography”. Redeem camera credit anthologies or clash with angry mobs in ‘The Grid”, in level 3.

“June’s Weddin’ 3?. Capture lifetime memories, indulge in our virtual 3D wedding planning and catering and try out our “Brother’s Speech Slurring” technology, catch the garter and bone aunt Mary. But Avoid our “Dry Heaves’” pit to fly to honeymooning Tahiti, but plan it well or beware of version 3’s “Her Hidden Newly Hitched Neurosis™” .

” SS-ex Freaky”, Join Michio Nobuyoshi and capture “The Money Shot™”. Explore your sexual identity within our 7 multi-player levels of split-screen love nut busting 3D virtual reality. Our unprecedented “Scratch and Sniff™” and online avatar slut technology gives you a unique 360 intensity and unheard off directorial gaming abilities.

“Call of Art Basel 3?. Follow your favorite artists and critics to Basel and Miami, drink appleteenies and make your assistants fly economy. Virtual “You Sell Them Larry™” and 3D horn rim technology. Navigate our new multi-player online HD booth technology and live the breathlessly real, contemporary cinematic fury of collectors, artists and critics.

“Conde Nasty 3?: Travel French counties for Conde Nasty and shoot lifestyle of real Caucasian “Hottie”. Our “Quaint™” technology will have your eating organics and driving antique French Citroen 2CVs. Pose near lavender fields, smiling country bumpkins and 300 kinds of stinky cheeses. Restore your peace and harmony with our new Euro-3D virtual realities. Choose from one of our twelve traveling possibilities but start with “Richy Rich” or “Bobo Pastorialist”, and then move on to level three and “Landed Gentry”. Graduate to ” Grand Thai Whore Mongery”.

This game is also available in travel Adrenaline, Medical and Sexual tourist; breath taking gaming combinations of :”I’m Diane Arbus, bitch!”, ” SS-ex Freaky” and “Conde Nasty 3?. Shoot those adorable Guatemalan hill ladies or “Run for your life in Karachi”.

more to come….. Stay tuned to further developments and to all our upcoming gaming possibilities.