Photography

College work-Part dos-1984....

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College Work-1984.....

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My son Raphael and his brother Gabriel went back to their yankee grandmother's home in Virginia and found old college work of mine somewhere in the basement......Raphael shoveled snow from a christmas winter storm and gave my ex-brother in law the cash to ship a box full of 25 year old work back to me, which I just received. Back in 84,' I was, as I am still, extremely fond of any kind of natural history displays and one of the first thing I do whenever I fly into a new city is seek out their natural history museum... I remember calling the a biologist or zoologist at the American Museum of Natural History in New York City who cordially invited to come down and peruse their collection both back stage and in the Museum's galleries without as much as checking my credentials (whatever a 19 year old might have had at the time).

At the time I thought that photographing dioramas as well as storage units in the museum's research facilities was a swell and brilliant idea, not realizing that Hiroshi Sugimoto had beaten me to the punch..... Intelligence I gathered, a few months later while visiting a camera store (whose name escapes me at the moment) in mid-town Manhattan, by gazing disappointedly at a beautifully printed large print of an ostrich and it's chicks, hanging over the counter.... A diorama I had also photographed a few months back at the Museum.....

These Polaroids were used as reference shots to guide me in my selection of future large format black and whites.... To be continued...I have to pick someone downtown.college

Appointed duty...

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Last Thursday's shoot. We piled into a couple cars and drove to within reach of Sacramento, CA... and shot two more personal pieces. From left to right: Shawnrey Notto, Gabriel Laude, Yours truly "Dear leader", and the Ryan Arthurs....! Results will be available this coming Tuesday the 25th of August and will be posted on "Dear Leader" should said works be worthy of any such subsequent entries.... Thanks to all, especially Ryan and Shawnrey. Polaroid by Raphael Laude. Polaroid by Raphael Laude.

Left to Right: Raphael Laude, Shawnrey Notto, Gabriel laude and the Ryan Arthurs. Polaroid by Olivier Laude.

Electronic Fine Art Displays (EFADs).

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Running concurrently as guest blogger on "A Photo Editor". Begin:

I have been staring at hi-res scans of my 8x10 work on my Apple 30" inch LCD display for a number of years now and wondering why the same displays have not yet been made to accommodate large display sizes. Thin museum quality LCDs, LEDs or better yet, OLED displays to display our work in larger sizes, 40 x50, 60x50 and bigger....

Anyone who has had the pleasure of watching a well mastered Blu-ray disc on a good quality 1080P HD screen will come off the experience a better man or woman and wonder why this technology is not being put to good use in the world of photography. I am convinced that there is a large market for high end electronic displays where photographers and other artists can show their work in a way that completely bypasses the "Print". Personally, I have been very frustrated by the process, one fraught with difficulties, work flow hick ups, expensive and many other such issues which crop up when faced with the task of producing large prints for gallery or museum display.

Often the end product is nice enough, or close enough to my creative intentions, but the greatest frustration is that the last step in the making of images is left to a printer (not to me), and to one who may or may not care about my real intentions. The limitations of their technology, skills, experience, and increasingly scare geographical locations often prevent or limit my creative choices, not to mention the cost of a C-41 printer .

I work very hard to produce an image which pleases me, but I often find myself frustrated by that last step...a final step many photographers struggle with: The exact and brilliant reproduction and display of one's work. Even-though, the print has served us well for well over a 150 years, I believe it is time to explore and demand that a niche market of high end large flat screen displays be developed for the photography market.

My original idea was to use 16:9 ration LCD TVs but the aspect ratio does not fit the average aspect ratio of many cameras(8x10, 4x5. 6x7 etc...). This led me to believe that there would be a market for high end LCD or OLED flat panel displays for fine art photographers, as well as other artists who might wish to display their work in a format other than regular TV panoramic formats. The ability to buy a high end barebones display, that is one without broadcast tuner or other electronic components needed to display moving images, would open a new medium for display and appreciation of photography as a whole.

From a personal comment on "A Photo Editor": "Here is an example: this is a “screen shot, command, shift, 3 of a file of mine at 66.7% on my 30? display. The original image was shot with an 8×10 field camera on Kodak 160VC, scanned on a high end flat bed scanner. The original full size image is 12706X15821 at 300 dpi…..40×50 image…I used it to print a 40×50 print and I can tell you the print looses life, on my display it’s just astounding… ….go to this URL and click on the image to enlarge it, at least Safari does this, and look at it on you screen, if it is well calibrated and reseanably large, you might get the a general idea of what I would like to go…This all works on my set up and hopefully it will on yours "

"CLICK HERE"

whatsso

Many photographers, unlike myself, did not grow up with film and digital cameras and have become very adept at manipulating and producing digital photographs and other works of art. These growing communities do not seek out the traditional print and to date, contents themselves to viewing their work on PC screens and on the internet. A new product catering to their needs, and to mine would be extremely successful and well received by a new, as well as older generation of photographers and visual artists...

The ability to frame this display with conventional frames, as well as sophisticated and functional color, contrast and multiple viewing interface (contrast, luminosity, back lighting, etc..) would render this product a versatile and more easily accepted new format. For example, the photographer might wish to approximate the look and feel of a C-print which could be achieved, as well as many other results.

A photoshop compatible display, one easily calibrated with common and sophisticated ICC profiles would go a long way to express the photographer's vision, as well as provide him or her with a versatile, cheaper, more user friendly and better adapted product than the traditional C41 print. This display would be a sharper, more detailed version of their digital original.

I am convinced that this generation of photographers, as well as subsequent ones will demand a product better attuned to their digital abilities and aptitudes, not a product which is becoming increasingly scarce, expensive and monolithic. A product found only in major metropolitan areas, but who's market share is shrinking and becoming more difficult to purchase and review. Most photographers who print for a gallery, home or institutional display do so long distance or through Fed-ex, a process which is rife with expensive reviews, slow and archaic.

There are many types of displays but personally I think the OLEDs are starting to look increasingly like the display to be. Their contrast aspect ratios are extraordinary, as well as their incredible thinness. Samsung's latest 40" OLED TV is an astounding piece of technology and produces a brilliantly sharp and amazingly detailed image, one much closer to what I am used to when I stare at my 8x10 commercial drum scans. Another interesting technology which to some degree is still in its infancy are E-readers(electronic paper). These albeit small displays have a very interesting way to mimic the book page and a visually tactile texture which I personally would like to see incorporated into larger color or black and white electronic display technology....

To conclude, here are other potential uses for Electronic Fine Art display (EFADs, just made that up):

1-Ability to wirelessly control the content of the display. For, an artist or photographer might upload and change a show over a period of time by adding or removing work over a network. 2-The same principle could apply to a collector who might wish to "subscribe" to an artist's work and receive a photography subscription. New images would be uploaded based on a specific delivery contract with galleries, musems and collectors. 3-Work would be sold and downloaded in any number of electronic formats and uploaded into the display. Some high end TVs allow the user to transfer their family photos to their screen for viewing but a more high end and flexible system would be easily devised to allow the artist or photographer to fine tune the image on a screen or allow for laptop and PC connectivity. 4-Imagine a show of 40x50s or 50x60s and larger EFADs in a darkened room, gallery or museum setting. Personally I cannot imagine a more impactful way to display my personal work. 5-Re-usable.Price wise these displays might cost more up front than a typical print but large, archival quality frames are extremely costly; making a EFAD competitive and attractive. 6-Matt and glossy screens...and even touch screen technology. 7-.....I am purposely leaving this list short and open sourced as I think it would be best if my fellow photographers and artists could add their own ideas and suggestions. An open source submission will make for far more ideas and suggestions, as well as other concepts than I could possibly come up with. Some of you might well be far more technologically inclined than I am and that knowledge might lead this idea to further developments, as well as serve as a way to push this concept on manufacturers and make this dream a possibility somewhere down the line. Have at it...the discourse will create its own weather and further refine this burgeoning concept.

Nuevo Leone....

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Back to shooting personal work. Scanned from contact sheet; obviously needs much post color work but it sure feels good to be back at work while the moolah lasts.....(click image for larger version). nueove3.jpg

Arma virumque cano, Troiae qui primus ab orisItaliam, fato profugus, Laviniaque venitlitora, multum ille et terris iactatus et alto vi superum saevae memorem Iunonis ob iram; multa quoque et bello passus, dum conderet urbem, inferretque deos Latio, genus unde Latinum, Albanique patres, atque altae moenia Romae. Musa, mihi causas memora, quo numine laeso, quidve dolens, regina deum tot volvere casus insignem pietate virum, tot adire labores impulerit. Tantaene animis caelestibus irae?

Urbs antiqua fuit, Tyrii tenuere coloni, Karthago, Italiam contra Tiberinaque longe ostia, dives opum studiisque asperrima belli; quam Iuno fertur terris magis omnibus unam posthabita coluisse Samo; hic illius arma, hic currus fuit; hoc regnum dea gentibus esse, si qua fata sinant, iam tum tenditque fovetque. Progeniem sed enim Troiano a sanguine duci audierat, Tyrias olim quae verteret arces; hinc populum late regem belloque superbum venturum excidio Libyae: sic volvere Parcas. Id metuens, veterisque memor Saturnia belli, prima quod ad Troiam pro caris gesserat Argis—necdum etiam causae irarum saevique dolores exciderant animo: manet alta mente repostum iudicium Paridis spretaeque iniuria formae, et genus invisum, et rapti Ganymedis honores. His accensa super, iactatos aequore toto. Troas, reliquias Danaum atque immitis Achilli, arcebat longeLatio, multosque per annos errabant, acti fatis, maria omnia circum. Tantae molis erat Romanam condere gentem!

Vix e conspectu Siculae telluris in altum vela dabant laeti, et spumas salis aere ruebant, cum Iuno, aeternum servans sub pectore volnus, haec secum: 'Mene incepto desistere victam, nec posse Italia Teucrorum avertere regem? Quippe vetor fatis. Pallasne exurere classem. Argivom atque ipsos potuit submergere ponto, unius ob noxam et furias Aiacis Oilei? Ipsa, Iovis rapidum iaculata e nubibus ignem, disiecitque rates evertitque aequora ventis, illum expirantem transfixo pectore flammas turbine corripuit scopuloque infixit acuto. Ast ego, quae divom incedo regina, Iovisque et soror et coniunx, una cum gente tot annos bella gero! Et quisquam numen Iunonis adoret praeterea, aut supplex aris imponet honorem?

Talia flammato secum dea corde volutans nimborum in patriam, loca feta furentibus austris, Aeoliam venit. Hic vasto rex Aeolus antro luctantes ventos tempestatesque sonoras imperio premit ac vinclis et carcere frenat.

Illi indignantes magno cum murmure montis circum claustra fremunt; celsa sedet Aeolus arce sceptra tenens, mollitque animos et temperat iras. Ni faciat, maria ac terras caelumque profundum quippe ferant rapidi secum verrantque per auras. Sed pater omnipotens speluncis abdidit atris, hoc metuens, molemque et montis insuper altos imposuit, regemque dedit, qui foedere certo et premere et laxas sciret dare iussus habenas. Ad quem tum Iuno supplex his vocibus usa est:

Found it .....

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May be I should move to Brazil and leave those puritans behind......Nevertheless, seems like Ms. Juliana Paes, a big soap opera and Samba star in Brazil, is not afraid of her body and of a little humor at her expense. I'm next....So stay tuned.

A more perfect Monopoly....

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Notes: Summer retreat and party plenum. Newport, Rhode Island. August 13, 1953: We the People, in order to form a more perfect monopoly, establish benefits, insure hegemony, provide for the common stock, promote the corporation, and secure the blessings of liberty to enrich ourselves and that of our future prosperity, we do ordain and establish this constitution to benefit all multi-national institutions, and in order to better and perpetually confer onto this "system", a set of reciprocal legal and financial obligations among our warrior and excecutive nobility. That every man be the vassal, or servant, of his lord, that "they" swear homage to him, and in return this/these lord(s) shall promise to give him protection and to see that justice and recompense is received. That this monopoly shall be the expression of a society in which every man be bound to every other by mutual ties of loyalty and service. That said monoply shall be marked by vast gulfs between the very few, very rich, landholders and the masses of the working poor who toil for the profit of this Union...

maor Photo by: Tom Nagy

This shall serve to confuse and dissuade our intentions of creating a more dystopian vision of a society, whereas the many, shall benefit the few .... To promote and project a more perfect monopoly we shall promote our present policies concerning literary and artistic work, in as much as it shall be used to market a more benevolent image of this noble Union....

maor

It shall stand to reason that today's writers and artists who cling to an individualist, arty-bourgeois stand cannot truly serve the Union's benefits, as their interest is mistakenly and mainly focused on a small number of arty-bourgeois intellectuals whose interests are to promote themselves, and not our afore mentioned Union.

maob Photo by: Tom Nagy

These intellectual workers should eventually be made to serve the visual guidelines of the Union, to craft a new visual and literary ideology as "The people" still have many shortcomings and have retained many arty bourgeois ideals; and while both the working class and the urban petty bourgeoisie have heartily embraced our ideology, we have still been hampered by "their" struggle to contradict. But, we shall be patient and spend a longtime in educating them and helping them to combat their own arty errors and shortcomings, so that they can advance with great strides towards our more perfect and consumptive vision.

maoa

The purpose of our meeting today is precisely to ensure that art and literature fit well into the whole beneficiary machine as a better component part and/or that they operate as a more powerful weapon for uniting and educating the people, and for attacking and destroying the "People's" established fiduciary institutions to create a new and more perfect Union.

Fade to brack....

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I usually do not talk about business, and other such bourgeois capitalist matters, but just this time I will have to make an exception and mention that as of March 1st, two thousand and eight, my professional representation with Redeye will officially terminate. I shall represent myself until further notice. Thank you and Good day...! black

"Herr Jörg".... Part One.

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Jörg Colberg, interviewed below, in a two part series by APE(A Photo Editor) and the venerable Andrew Hetherington (What's the Jackanory). I had originally intended to edit and scramble their questions, including mine, which will appear tomorrow but this turned out to be far longer and involved than I had expected. Part one, unedited: fujii

APE: If you discovered a collection of photographs, that in your esteemed opinion represented the pinnacle of fine art photography and that discovery was yours alone to reveal to the world and you learned the photographer was none other than George W. Bush. What would you do?

JC: You mean what have I done with them?

APE: Are there any laws or nature that govern the popularity of fine art photography?

JC: I wish I knew! But whatever they are, hand-wringing about whatever is popular or sells well at any given moment in time is basically pointless.

APE: Artist statements seem to be a bunch of hooey. Are there any that you've particularly enjoyed? JC: I think artists' statements are just part of the whole show. You could probably add those texts that galleries/museums write about their shows to that or many of the texts/reviews in serious art magazines. I wouldn't necessarily say that each and every one is bad, but unfortunately, there is quite a trend. So usually, I don't read them. I only read them if I can't figure out what the work is all about (which might or might not say something about the work). As for a particularly ridiculous one, I don't remember the details any longer, but I do remember it was a couple of years ago, and I think it was a statement written for one of those Whitney Biennials or whatever those events are called. I remember I laughed for maybe ten minutes. Pure comedy gold.

APE: Is there a style of photography that you would add to The United Nations Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment.

JC: I'm glad you're asking about a style and not about a photographer. "Street photography". Puh-leeease! I mean if you want to see street photography, take a walk! At any given time, if you walk around and look what there is to see you'll see a "street photo" right in front of you! Oh wait, how could I forget about "fashion photography"?

APE: You have uncovered thousands of talented photographers whom I've never heard of. How do you do it and where are they hiding?

JC: Most of them are hidden in full sight! You just have to look around. And that's really all I do. For example, sometimes I look through the lists of students at photography schools. I also do read quite a few blogs regularly. A few years back, when there were very few photo blogs and when I had run out of links, I would Google for categories that I'd make up spontaneously. For example, I remember I once started looking for Finnish photography, simply because I didn't know anything about it, but I thought it would be neat to find out what was out there. It's interesting to note that while a few years back stuff was often hard to find because no one had linked to it, stuff now is hard to find because there is so much, and one has to sift through a lot of it.

WTJ: Am I at a disadvantage or an advantage seeing as I am the only one of us who has met you?

JC: You're obviously the only one who knows for a fact that I'm not a 15 year old with an acne problem who is pretending to be a photo blogger at his parent's computer - but I can't tell whether that's an advantage or a disadvantage.

WTJ: What do you think is people's biggest misconception of yourself?

JC: I have come across people thinking that I'm "intense and intellectual".

WTJ: How did you feel about 'The Bitter Photographers' Conscientious posting?

JC: I don't care about anonymous posts or comments. If you have an opinion or if you feel like you have to make fun of something or somebody, be an adult and stand for what you have to say. Don't hide behind "anonymous". So I didn't spend much time thinking about it - it would have been like thinking about graffiti in the bathroom of a public high school: Not much to be learned. No argument to be had. And even the kind of fun to be had is very limited, for the same reasons.

WTJ: Are you and Alec Soth tight?

JC: For some reason people appear to think that Alec and I are very close. But in reality we don't know each other all that well - apart from what we know from our email exchanges and from meeting once and saying hello (at the opening of the portrait show last Summer in New York). I have to say, though, that he's an incredibly nice guy.

WTJ: Why do you think he stopped blogging ?

JC: I think he stopped blogging for the reasons given in his last post. I really regret he did, because he provided such a unique and dedicated voice to the blog world. But who knows - maybe he'll be back some day?

WTJ: What does your wife think about you being such a player on the photo scene? I know she got a kick out of it when I referred to you as the 'godfather' in my first ever posting.

JC: When I started my blog, I never thought someone would seriously use the terms "a player" and "godfather" about me. Very odd. As for my wife, I never figured out whether she thought of "the Godfather" as in the movie or as in when referring to James Brown. With her Italian family background it must have been the former, whereas I was amused since I'm about as un-James-Brown as one could possibly get. In any case, I think she is somewhat less surprised than I am about me having some sort of role in "the scene". I do know that she's happier about me being active in the art scene than in the academic scene.

WTJ: You are a player right ? Do you feel like a star maker ? After all you are now a harbinger of taste and people look to you for an endorsement? JC: Is that some of that famous humour that you non-German people always talk about?

WTJ: I am thinking that a posting on 'Conscientious' can seriously help someone's career?

JC: The scientist in me would probably say that there's enough data out there to test this hypothesis. Just poll the people linked to on my blog! Given that so many people visit the blog regularly I think that a post could indeed help someone's career. There are a lot of photographers out there whose work is not as much appreciated as it should be. If I can change that a little bit by posting about the work, that's great.

WTJ: Have you seen people's cache rise ?

JC: I have. I know for a fact that Chelsea gallerists follow the blog, and I know of a few cases where a post on the blog had a direct impact on people getting a show or getting assignments to shoot for magazines.

WTJ: Have they thanked you? Sent a print, bottle of whiskey, bag of cash?

JC: I often get thank-you emails when I have someone on the blog. I also sometimes get books in the mail (which I love). Getting an actual print has been a very, very rare occasion, though. Likewise for the whiskey (I like single malts) or bags of cash (no coins and only hard denominations, please).

WTJ: Oh and have people sent you a little shall we say bride in an attempt to guarantee a posting?

JC: Bride or no bride, there is no guarantee. It's really very, very simple: If I like the photography - regardless of the photographer's name - I'll post about it.

WTJ: I once got an email from a photographer who shall remain nameless who said that one mention on your site and he went from obscurity to some serious New York gallery representation in a matter of days. How does this make you feel ?

JC: I was/am genuinely happy for the photographer, because I thought that his show was well deserved. Assuming, of course, that we are talking about the same person. Maybe there is more than one?

WTJ: American Photo named you as one of their Innovators in 2006. Did you notice a change in your self love following this accolade ? JC: No, it didn't. I don't want to tie me ego to whether my name appears in a magazine or newspaper.

WTJ: Nice to be acknowledged by the establishment right?

JC: What is genuinely nice is to be acknowledged by photographers. That I like. When a photographer, known or unknown, tells me she or he enjoys the blog, that is very, very nice. And to be able to talk to all of the photographers I had in my "Conversations", that's something else that I have enjoyed a lot. As for "the establishment", I haven't fully figured out who is part of that and who isn't.

WTJ: How do you feel you are perceived in the hallowed halls of 'Fine Art Photography' ?

JC: I am not too concerned about that. Instead of thinking about stuff like that I rather look at photography.

WTJ: What photo blogs do you read ?

JC: My RSS reader contains a large number of blogs - too many to list them here. They're all linked to on "Conscientious" (I do need to update that list, though!). I will mention one, though, "Mrs Deane", which is one of my favourite photo blogs.

WTJ: You have a big birthday coming up! So lets say you could invite 10 photographers alive or dead to your party, care to name names ? JC: You mean apart from the ones that I already invited?

WTJ: And while we are at it 10 non photographers alive or dead to make the conversation more interesting ? JC: I have the feeling that the people in such a list would not get along very well with each other, even though it would be fun to have, say, Philip Roth and Mark E Smith in the same room with me. Hard to imagine those two striking a conversation. So that might end up being a bit tedious: Ten idiosyncratic personalities in the same room. I'd probably find that amusing for only ten minutes.

WTJ: What is the future for 'Conscientious' ?

JC: I don't know. We'll see.

WTJ: Do you think your own photography is judged on its own merits or because of who you are? JC: I don't think it's very well known I actually do take photos myself - and I refuse to toot my own horn on my blog. I'm no photographer with a blog, I'm a blogger who takes photos. To be honest, I am slightly worried about the "Oh my god, now he's trying to take photos, too" reaction once I will try to get my stuff out there; but I usually work on my own photography trying to achieve something that I personally like and not so much worrying about a possible viewer. As for how it is being judged, the answer probably is "I don't know". People don't really talk to me much about it.

WTJ: How many submissions a day do you get on average?

JC: It's about two or three.

WTJ: You must see some crazy stuff that doesn't fit your aesthetic? Any examples?

JC: I'm not very fond of blurry photos of pretty, naked, young white people (think Leni Riefenstahl meets David Hamilton). That's just terrible, terrible kitsch.

WTJ: How does it feel to be so powerful?

JC: I'm still working on the diabolical laughter that appears to be so popular with people in power, but I'm afraid I can't really pull that off.

El Camino....and then some....

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grassy Here we go, here are a few more stories for your arty pleasuré:

ONE- Go shoot animal tracks, gopher tracks, goat tracks, that sort of thing. Did you know most roads and byways you now drive on, to take your aunt Mary to her shallow grave, started out as animal tracks. That's right, way back when, all that primitive man had to do was follow them and bingo, either they'd get some tasty entrée or find some dirty water to quench their cave sized estomaqué. When we were kids in Corsica, you had to know which path, which track, led back home, otherwise you'd be fucked, big time..... The goats ate away at the "Maquis"(a corsican word BTW) and over time dig tunnels into the mountains; some led nowhere but to dappled dead ends*, other led us home. If you didn't what you were doing, you were dead.

During the war my grandfather and his pals in the Corsican resistance would lure the Germans and Italians into the Maquis through those tunnels, get them good and lost and then burn that part of the mountain, roasting them like Christmas partridges. Which brings me to our next story.

TWO- In California and the West, we have what's called freeways, and on those freeways automobiles travel great distances rather hurriedly, and often recklessly whack other mammals out of their way. The often end up, in the grass, by the side of the road, where they lie, mortally wounded. If they are not dead right away, death usually comes slowly but no one's counting, so who knows how long it takes. Paramedics are never called but once in the while if the stink is too great, some CALTRANS highway worker will drop by and pick up the remains. But fortunately, not all of them are collected and a few stay there to rot, deep in the yellowing grass, watching big rigs go their separate ways.

That grass I just mentioned.... well teenage runaways enjoy putting matches to it; just for the hell of it. Great big billowing dark clouds of sooting grass rise into our beautiful blue clouds(what's a blue cloud you ask?), soiling Highway 5 a little more than expected, incinerating those forgotten carcasses . The tall grasses gone, what was once invisible to vagrants and passenger seats, is now revealed, after that grassy and fiery furnace. (Note: If you are on a budget and don't like waiting in Motel 6s, just burn some shit down yourself or rent some teenage runaway. If you can't find crispy critters just drive to the nearest muni dump and ask where they keep the road kill and plead your case.....)

So, next summer, drive up and down High 5 between Tracy and LA and look out for those dark burned out grassless patches, drag your cameras on a one horse open sleight and shoot those forlorn carcasses (See above image, for reference only).

The first one to return to NYC with a body of work out of those two stories gets a gallery show....so please hurry....off you go.... shoo...scram....shuusshhhh.....

I was also going to suggest shooting those discarded xmas trees you are apt to see, felled by the side of the road, but my friend steve mentioned that it has already been done. Anyway, someone has already done a similar project, shooting piles of lawn clippings on suburban streets but called them "Detritus", and with a name like that, you get the keys to the city.

* Just like Golden Gate park in San Francisco, except that the tunnels are dug by the homeless and you more likely to catch some toothless skank giving head, rather than having a magical childhood ready made. (Skank:The term "skank" differs from that of "slut" in that whereas the latter implies only sexual promiscuity; the former also implies poor taste, personally degrading behaviour and low socioeconomic class. Dang.....! I want me some of that, aaarg, those damn childhood fetishes!).

The Naked APE.

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DL: Photographers out number editors a million to one but given the fact that you may well be the one and only photo editor who did it, what does that "intuit" about your esteemed colleagues? RB(AKAPE): I think there's a huge misconception about the number of "professional" photographers in this industry. I'd say 20 maybe 23 tops. Everyone else is just vying for one of those slots by shooting jobs for free as marketing material. So, as you can see there's absolutely no reason for photo editors to do anything with the internets.

DL: Something tells me that you are trying to sell us something, are we all unsuspecting pawns in an elaborate marketing scheme of your own making?

RB(AKAPE): There is absolutely no obligation to buy but I think once you hear the stories of people making 1000, 2000 and even 10,000 dollars a week you will want to buy my 10 disc set turning your vacation photos into cash. Money back guarantee except in the 50 states not available outside the US.

DL: OH. MY . GOD...! Is that expression learned, or innate?

RB(AKAPE): I normally say "holy fucking shit can you fucking believe how fucking great that fucking photo is a just want to shit myself and donkey punch my mother." Oh. My. God seemed more user friendly.

DL: There was a lot of brown nosing the APE over the past four months. What does that say about photographers or the biz?

RB(AKAPE): If NY Times Magazine Director of Photography, Kathy Ryan were to suddenly come to a screeching halt the entire photo industry would find itself lodged up her ass.

DL: Winston Churchill once said, "You make a living by what you get; you make a life by what you give", care to elaborate?

RB(AKAPE): No. That makes my brain hurt.

DL: You once had a dream, what was it?

RB(AKAPE): A reoccurring dream where the CFO and I enter a caged octagon.

DL: Why do you think you were so successful, so quickly?

RB(AKAPE): See above, they all thought I was Kathy Ryan.

DL: Anyone else that you know following your careless lead?

RB(AKAPE): I've poisoned everyone who tried. Anyone seen George Pitts lately?

DL: Photography is now a commodity like wheat, pork bellies or soy beans, care to disagree?

RB(AKAPE): Is this where you tell me I have to pay a digital processing fee and a digital transfer fee and a fee to ftp and a fee to burn a disk and a digital package fee and a digi-tech fee and a removable storage fee and a post processing fee?

DL: You share your life with a special someone, an ego, a wife, a pet monkey. What did they think of all this? Did you ever have to defend your compulsion and if so how could you and how did you justify it?

RB(AKAPE): Look Olivier I'm tired of calling your wife and telling her that blogging is anything other than online masturbation.

DL: Some may say that your taste in photography are rather safe, care to elaborate?

RB(AKAPE): Are you referring to my habit of saying in meetings "I'd like see what Annie Lebovitz would do with that" even though I've asked her agent 144,000 times to shoot something for me and the answer has always been no?

DL: Have you found your voice and is this it?

RB(AKAPE): No, I'm thinking more Backstreet Boys with choreographed dance but I just can't seem to get Contientious, Jackaonary and A Visual Society to show up for practice.

DL: How do you like your feminine side shaped?

RB(AKAPE): Conical.

DL: Off the record and just between you and me, what made you do it?......guilt, shame...? and if so, are you easily intimidated?

RB(AKAPE): Interesting, I've never thought of it that way but now that I'm lying on this comfortable couch and you're talking to me in that soothing voice I'd have to say there's a fair amount of guilt involved in figuring out how many ways you can screw photographers out of a couple bucks on a daily, wait no, hourly basis as a chosen profession. This is my atonement.

DL: ....ever been gang banged by the Keebler elves...? elf

RB(AKAPE): Oh. My. God… is that where all these cookies came from… Olivier… Olivier… why can't I move my arms… I can barely see you… it's like I'm looking through a lens baby attached to a kaleidoscope.

DL: Anything to loose and if so, when will you loose it?

RB(AKAPE): Close to loosing my lunch every time I hit publish.

DL: Successful blogs tend to slowly become overwhelmed by their own successes. The audience becomes more and more self absorbed and see the "Top Blog" as a tool to generate traffic to their own site or start posting to turn the conversation unto themselves, as opposed to furthering the discussion. How will you negotiate success, has this already happened?

RB(AKAPE): Ultimately my goal is to turn the photo blogging community into a giant donut where all links and conversations lead back to the original post. The conversation will repeat itself in perpetuity throughout the universe in every medium known and unknown without additional payment.

DL: Please, be brutally honest!

RB(AKAPE): When I pee in the snow I write my name.

DL: (This Space left unintentionally blank).

blankey

DL: Unlike a painter, a photographer starts with something finished and works backwards....what about a "A Photo Editor"?

RB(AKAPE): Did you know aphotoeditor spelt backwards is rotideotohpa?

DL: I have to ask you this, how many Horse ladies in your apocalypse?

RB(AKAPE): She's pullin' six white horses.

DL: Favorite three layered cake?

RB(AKAPE): Ho hos.

DL: An old chinese proverb states: " It does not matter if it's black or white, as long as it catches light", care to dignify this pronouncement with a reply?

RB(AKAPE): It matters if I shine a flashlight up your ass.

DL: Many of your fans had assumed, wrongly, that you were a lady, any thoughts, rebukes or responses?

RB(AKAPE): Not the first time someone told me "you write and photo edit like a woman."

DL: "If you are not outraged, you are not paying attention", what exactly does that mean?

RB(AKAPE): In the FAQ section of my blog it states that by loading aphotoeditor.com in your web browser you are hereby signing a work for hire contract that governs all previous and future work as a photographer throughout the universe in all mediums known and unknown in perpetuity.

DL: The US department of Labor states that the Employment of photographers is expected to grow about as fast as the average for all occupations through 2016. Photographers can expect keen competition for job openings because the work is attractive to many people. Could this be?

RB(AKAPE): Sure, who doesn't want to hang out with Mickey and Goofy and snap pictures of screaming kids all day long.

DL: There are currently 122,000 professional photographers in the US alone, with a median hourly income of $12 dollars and 58 cents. Please explain ?

RB(AKAPE): And with expenses of $12 an hour that leaves a pure profit of 58 cents an hour.

DL: Which of the following would cause the unemployment rate to increase?

I. A man who quits his job to spend more time with his children II. A woman who has not looked for a job in two years and begins looking again III. A woman who quits her job and begins looking for a new job in another city.

RB(AKAPE): IV. Blogging for a living.

DL: And to conclude this interview please explain:

1- Definition of social stratification 2- Social class in terms of wealth, income, education, occupation, and lifestyle 3- Concepts of power, prestige and status, both ascribed and achieved 4- Social inequality involving race, gender, class, age, prejudice, and discrimination 5- Functional and conflict theories of stratification 6- Horizontal, vertical, inter-generational social mobility 7- Poverty/life chances

RB(AKAPE): Ask someone who cares.

Artfully so...

in , ,

In 2008 I will be posting photo stories I won't be doing, but which, if they have not already been done, you may "Artfully" shoot for yourself. Remember, you can shoot almost anything, and depending on how you package it, you can make a name for yourself. If you persevere and produce "a body of work" consisting of more than six, but no less than twelve of these stories within a calendar year, and in a somewhat recognizable personal style, you will .........

Begin here/Story One:

Go to strip clubs with a large format camera and shoot the audience watching the show(do not shoot the striper). Report to the authorities when you are done. You will need around 30 to 40 images of strip clubs throughout the country and the world, if possible. The rest is up to you. Good luck......

yytr Photo by: Unknown.

This image is only meant to reference the story idea above, it was found online and should by no means be copied or imitated. It's posted purpose should only be viewed and used as stated references.

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