Mantras….

At the bottom of a returned email. Adrienne woke up in Taipei and sent me an email telling me she was awake. Somehow, overnight, the signature morphed into a mantra…..

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I have to admit that texting or emailing, in real time to my girl(in Asia) is a real pleasure.

“Driving to taichung, sleepy. This guy had a radar detector that blares something in mandarin every 5 mins. You might like it actually. 🙂 I should try and get u this detector. Its called THE SNOOPER. Practice yo mandarin.”

She knows what I like…..can’t wait for my SNOOPER.

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To close out the year, the “Musee des lettres et Manuscrits”(the museum of letters and manuscripts) is having a exhibition called “parlez-moi d’amour”(speak to me about love), a show about love letters.

An appropriate way to close out and begin the new year. Sorry, it’s all in French but here’s a link to a BBC story about it (got to love the french pornographer’s “non de porn”, John B Root, a play on the word “biroute”, which loosely translated means “dick”; a biroute is also a wind sock, like those you may have spied at airports). What a perfect name for that ever temporal, directional, inflatable and eminently engorge-able!

Since we frogs have a museum for just about everything, here is what my contribution to french culture will be, when and if I make my millions and move back to France to donate a sizable portion of my nouvelle fortune to this newly formed cultural institution: “The Gift Shop Museum“, the museum for and about museum gift shops.

Happy New Yeah…….. wherever and whenever your wind blows!

What I fucking do all day when I am not earning my man…..

olivier(read previous entry), I pop a couple Vicodins to shave that snake; but fear not, the rest of him keeps on kicking throughout the day, to remind me its not quite done with me. Afterall, who wants to run around like a fucking caged monkey, thinking about nothing else but how much freaking nerve pain a primate can endure in a day. Thank you opiates, and yes I have a prescription, and no, you can’t have it, and no, I am not fiended; I have actually reduced and never increased the dosage. As previously explained, I am very slowly getting better, lots of steroids and Botox injected, twice weekly physical therapies; and oh yes, once again, thank you opiates; without you I would have been freaking desperate . Surviving the last year without these beauties would have been far too manly for my taste.

Anyway, around 8:40, I slowly walk back to the XC seventies and pop in some African CDs, I am a big fan here, let’s say 30 years; turn on the ignition and peel off like the French born that I is.
On the way home I curse California drivin’; by far the worst goddamn cretins on Gore’s not so green earth; ain’t it?
Worthless bunch of inattentive, self righteous, passive-digressive, incompetent clueless douches. Give me New York City or Paris any day, that’s my kind of tootin’ anyway; where men drive like clown monkeys and women bray like camel riding donkeys . If ever I have guests, I try to tone it down but “es-startlement happens” ! (new word here, means: Spanglish to describe the startling processes).

Not to spare you the tedium, I take Belvedere or Cole to 17th and Market and then down the hill to the Castro, that’s where I live with my girl, and the progenated. Up Douglass and up up and away.
You see, I am a divorcé, so off I go to live communally. Clicker in hand I open the brand new garage door and ram the cardboard flotsam to the back of these here garages. Step out of the car, disrecollected, close the roll ups and walk up, up and away. Back down to get recollected and back up again’.
Open the door leading into the deck, trip over the Bar-B-Qued remains and drop the keys that opens the kitchen gates. Wheel the dishwasher back in place and to the home offices; it’s more feminine that way. Tap the keyboard and wake up the CPAs, “Good day”! To show cheer and show my good graces by animating objects, is an important part of my day to day.

I check email one more time and snurf the dailies: the Jackanory, aphotoeditor, Heading East, 2point8; these are all people I either know, or we communicate; sometimes every day. I like them, and their energy and efforts are always greatly appreciated. When I feel less pressed, like today, I roam the interneted, and less well known tottering blog-aided…. I comment, but shouldn’t, too much time away from these bitches! Thankfully I can finger type with great rapidity.

If I am feeling friskay, I’ll write my own entry, usually consisting of what this blog generally disseminates with great identity, which it’s supposed to portray, or a least try to communicate, what a slightly older, effeminate esthete, British and patrician academic might think. Well crafted, defined, opinionated, ideated; ideas, tidbits, wisdoms and recollections collected while traveling with the Queen and her majesty’s secret services; all the while, throwing in, a few contemporary rabbits and expletives, to appear younger than I might actually turn out to bees. I have tried to have that come across with greater clarity and voice-hover all my entreaties, but that was way too time consuming, I had to put that one to sleep. Enough for right now, I have actual work to do, but fear not, more’s a coming your way…..